Schismatic

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A dramatic Shakespearean response to every situation

When something bad happens: True is it that we have seen better days.
When something REALLY bad happens: O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
When people say that something is wrong because the Bible says so: The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
When my girlfriend abandons me for food: FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!
When someone doesn't thank me for holding the door open for them: BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN'S INGRATITUDE!
When I burn something while cooking: MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
When human stupidity frustrates me: LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
When someone says I'm going to hell for my sins: NYMPH, IN THY ORISONS BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER'D.
When I'm broke: My pride fell with my fortunes
When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues: OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
When someone disagrees with me: THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THEN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
When I argue with my girlfriend: The course of true love never did run smooth.
When I'm embarrassed: MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
Someone says "Good Night": Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.

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I think I’m hurt, Dad. I think I was the tough girl for too long. My body is a wafer, a thin, soft melt on a choir boy’s tongue.

Jeanann Verlee (via clementinevonradics)

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Fear What You Will Become

(Source: filmforlife, via soakinthehorror)

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weeded-les:

sweetdaydream-er:

damn-you-steven-moffat:

fandomblogger:

naturepunk:

teenagemutantninjaslut:

“What Schizophrenia Sounds Like”

For the last couple of weeks I have been looking up information about the mental illness, schizophrenia for a research project for my psychology class. During my research I found an interesting project that some scientists had put together called, “What Schizophrenia Sounds Like.” After interviewing many people with this illness the scientists compiled a short clip of what a schizophrenic might hear during an episode, or just day to day. I listened to this from my laptop speakers, not the recommended head phone approach (Which I’m glad that I did!) When I pressed play on this sound clip I instantly got chills and had to turn down the volume before proceeding. Honestly, it creeped me out to the point where I had to turn something funny on the TV to keep from weirding myself out. This sound clip really is interesting. Have a listen!

I was honestly expecting to hear “Call Me Maybe” but this is way creepier. Holy hell.

the beginning kinda sounds like gollum fighting with himself

this is really creepy holy shit

Holy shit I am fucking terrified that’s horrible

I listened to this with headphones in and it is the most terrifying thing ever

(via superdynamite)

428,657 plays

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(Source: gorillaz-and-shit)

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(Source: christianbaled, via dyingforimmortality)

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doncheftw:

Butters breaks the game down

(Source: doomsday519, via peterthewebslingerparker)

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hiredtrigger:

“There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused, and my utter indifference toward it, I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others, I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis. My punishment continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.”

—Patrick Bateman, American Psycho

(via peterthewebslingerparker)

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(Source: augustunderground, via soakinthehorror)

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writersnoonereads:

“If someone asks me, ‘Why do you write?’ I can reply by pointing out that it is a very dumb question. Nevertheless, there is an answer. I write because I hate. A lot. Hard.” — William Gass, The Paris Review

William Gass’ latest (and last?) novel, Middle C is out today. (via greenapplebooks)